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VT 150: Dave and Kelly: Of Pebbles & Grenades Sorting Out Personal and Relationship Issues in Marital Therapy. (46 minutes) (Order)
Dave and Kelly are a couple in their early thirties with three children - two boys from Kelly's first marriage (ages 9 and 7) and a five year old girl of their own. Although Dave and Kelly are currently divorced, they decided to live together six months prior to this interview in an effort to put the marriage back together. Kelly is a nurse, and Dave is a self employed house painter and construction worker.
In this session, Dr. Corrales demonstrates his marital therapy approach which has a systemic-holistic base. He also shows how to build a therapeutic relationship that is structured to encourage change rather than dependency on the therapist. In addition to demonstrating his Model for Building an Effective Therapeutic System he uses the metaphor of Pebbles and Grenades. Pebbles refers to the current interaction patterns in the relationship; grenades refers to the intense emotional reactions triggered by those pebbles. Grenades are understood as shadows of the person's formative experiences in the past, particularly in the family of origin. After sorting out the Pebbles and Grenades in Dave and Kelly's lives, Dr. Corrales asks each one to take individual responsibility for the grenades and co-responsibility for the pebbles in the current interaction patterns. In so doing he is able to bridge strategic elements of problem-solving in the current system to intergenerational dimensions of personal growth issues. The therapist contracts to have the couple be in charge of their personal and relationship issues. The therapist then remains an active coach and consultant as therapy continues.
VT 151: The Therapeutic System in Marital Therapy (41 minutes) (Order)
In this didactic presentation (lecture/discussion) Dr. Corrales elaborates on the innovative method of marital therapy demonstrated in VT 150. He offers a systemic-holistic model for building an effective therapeutic interview that integrates systems and individual therapy methods. The tape is a most effective companion piece to VT 150. The two films afford a good introduction to this innovative method of marital counseling for students in the classroom or in-service training.
VT 190: THE CONGRUENT MARRIAGE: A Videotaped Demonstration (Order)
In this videotape, Ramon Corrales, Ph.D. demonstrates how to begin the process of developing a congruent relationship. The latin root word of cogruence is congruere, which means "to run together". The process of congruence is attained when all "parts" run together toward a common vision. Dr. Corrales shares a surprisingly learnable framework for starting couples off on the road to personal and relational congruence.
He uses the Pebble-Ripple metaphor to distinguish between outside and inside realities. Pebbles refer to the external events that trigger ripples inside us(thoughts, feelings, and decisions). Some of those ripples are called grenades because of their intensity, an emotional intensity that cannot be adequately explained by the nature of the pebble, but only by the nature of the responder. Every grenade reveals something quite important to the responder. Dr. Corrales refers to these qualities as jewels: qualities or capacities that are innate to the person.
In this videotape, Dr. Corrales interviews a married couple. He teaches Steve and Melissa to track their pebble-grenade-jewel connection in their lives and then coaches them to do several things:
- How to empower themselves by seeing the pebble as a trigger, not a causal agent.
- To use a 3-STEP-MODEL for mining the jewels in their grenades: (1)Feel It, (2)Listen to It (mining the jewels), and (3)Act on the Message, not the feeling.
- How Step 1 connects us with our feeling messages; how Step 2 allows us to affirm our innate soul qualities (jewels); and how Step 3 prepares us to go back to the outside world through actions that are jewel-based instead of emotion based.
- To agree that they, as individuals, must become the primary caretakers of their jewels by mining them, affirming them, and acting on their behalf.
- How they can support their partner's jewels through empathic communication and loving actions, without codepedency.
The presentation of this material to professional conferences pertaining to family and couples therapy has received extensive praise.
This video presentation should be a handy companion for motivated couples, marriage educators, and family therapists. It may be particularly helpful when used as a "homework assignment" as a part of treatment. In that capacity the therapist would pursue issues idiosyncratic to the couple in following treatment sessions.
Other Films with Dr. Ramon Corrales. |
